Darkened Memories
By April Manning Lambert
(by permission of the author)
The memory of you makes me hurt
A cruel reminder of just what I lost
What all this addiction has cost
Ruthless it never ceased its attack
Hope lost now and not coming back
I know you wanted just to stay
Though the chances were small
Desperately you fought anyway
You knew only to give your all
Your love for me was oh so right
So perfectly revealed in the night,
Or playing in the sun with you
Then laughing out in the rain too
That was my dream come true
It couldn’t last and deeply I knew
That only temporary was our time
Now instead there’s only this pain
I’d left you but why I can’t explain
We could still have made it right
If they knew them you’d not fight
Now I close my eyes to remember
Sweet happy memories slip away
Replaced by dark of that awful day
Reflecting now a piercing reminder
Pain so sharp memories disfigured
Sober here and cold I remember
Thankful at least I didn’t witness
As your body went cold and listless
You’re gone now and ever after
Memory brought love and laughter
Now gone too twisted and wrecked
Sharp and rusted ruined old metal
Stabs my heart like a score to settle
The life we had can’t be restored
Nor memories of us together
Left out to ruin in the weather
Hard reality is cold and gray
I pray I’ll forget this someday
No comfort or laughter left to hold
Beloved song gone stiff and cold
How perfect we could have been
But addiction destroys from within
Note: April is currently incarcerated.
