I’m so sorry you’ve lost the person who was to be your life mate. My heart breaks for you.
I’ve never heard of bodies being burned in front of loved ones in this country. You must live abroad? I can’t imagine anyone wanting to watch that.
Anyway, my deepest sympathy and best wishes for a long and happy life after such trauma so young.
Enjoy reading your writing, and your pain flows through your essay — I’m so sorry. But you’re so talented maybe your work will help to heal your heart.