Realtor’s Historic Nightmare

A very nice home…for ghosts

Photo by Matthew T Rader on Unsplash

Nice of you to meet me here to see this amazing home. Yes, it is in the historic district, and the house is a true Victorian. The price is quite reasonable and it’s well within your price range. It needs a little sprucing up, but it’s a beautiful home and was built to last.

It’s been vacant a while. No one has lived here since, uh, the tragedy with the previous owners.

Well, yes, it was a murder-suicide, but Mr. and Mrs. Lockwood were very elderly and she was very sick. They no doubt loved this house and were happy here.

Well, of course, up until he killed her and shot himself. Terrible tragedy.

Well, yes, the house has quite a sad history. But look at these eleven-foot ceilings. The chandelier in the foyer is breathtaking.

I believe it was used as a home for delinquent boys in the sixties. It was just that one troubled boy. No one knows where he got a gun.

But just look at this staircase and the woodwork in the newel post. It’s exquisite, is it not? And so nicely restored.

Yes, that’s part of the disclosure I was going to mention, but the poor woman was probably suffering with depression, although no one knows what made her do it. The children were young. No, I don’t know which room they were in when that terrible incident occurred.

Look at this kitchen. It has the original cabinetry. You could add a farmhouse sink and new appliances. It wouldn’t take much to make this a great kitchen.

Oh, don’t mind the sounds. The house is old and settling as they all do after a century or so. Pops and creaks are normal in a house of this age and size. You’ll get used to them. And this is such a bargain.

Look at this open front porch. A beautiful place to relax in the sun, don’t you think? It would be a wonderful place to sit in the sun when the days get longer. Seems it’s getting dark a little early today. New paint would completely change the look of the place.

No, I don’t believe he hung himself on the porch. Really? You’re sure? Well maybe it was the back porch, but it was so long ago…

Well, yes, dark figures were reported running across the street. You must have talked with the neighbors. There is apparently nothing to those reports and the police found nothing to connect it to this house. Running from here? Oh, well, small town, big rumors.

The house has three fireplaces. Two upstairs in bedrooms and this grand one. It will be so cozy in winter.

Yes, it’s silly, but a few people have reported seeing children looking out of the windows, but reflections play such tricks on the mind during dark nights and children love to pull pranks. Goodness, people have such wild imaginations.

Oh! That must have been a hoot owl. Owls are magnificent creatures. I don’t believe in old superstitions, do you? Nice to have nature around this house. It’s maybe a little grown up, but a gardener could fix it up.

No, good gracious, they never proved the gardener had anything to do with it. And it was so long ago I’ve forgotten the details. People start rumors, and exaggerate, don’t you think?

Now, the house comes with some furniture. Look at these beautiful old pieces. True antiques and in fine shape, I’d say. Built to last.

What? Oh, it’s nothing. Probably just kids playing outside. Didn’t sound like kids playing? Bloodcurdling? Oh, now, let’s not get carried away just because it’s gotten dark. Empty houses echo.

No, you don’t think this is the right property for you? Really?

Well, ok, but it’s a beautiful historic home with so much room and special features. And at such a low price. I hate to see you reject it so quickly.

Oh. I see. Well, we’ll have to keep looking. I’ll find more listings to show you tomorrow. No, it’s ok. I understand.

Did you bring your children with you? Someone seems to be slamming a door upstairs?

No? Just the two of you, then? It must be the wind. It is a little drafty in here after all.

Hmmm, well, there will be other homes for you to consider. No, it was my pleasure to show it to you.

But maybe we should hurry along a bit. There seems to be a thunderstorm coming up.

Oh, there go the lights. I wonder if the power outage is city-wide. Well, we’re through looking anyway.

This door is difficult. Could you help me a bit here? I can’t seem to get it open.

Oh my god, what is that? What in the hell is that? Run!

Former print journalist, former mayor, retired law enforcement officer. Writing about politics and government along with random personal essays.

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