Sometimes I Want To Quit Medium
I’ve never been good at sticking to things. I’m married to my fourth husband. I can’t remember all the jobs I’ve had in my lifetime. When I was in my twenties, I moved from job to job whenever I pleased, often. I decided a couple of weeks after my first child was born that motherhood wasn’t for me. In fact, I decided during labor. Luckily when the hormones balance and the depression got treated, I was a happy and proud mother and raised a beautiful and loving daughter.
But here I am at Medium. Sticking it out. A study in perseverance. I’m hanging in here and writing my tail off. I’ve never stuck with much of anything except my eventual long-term police officer and reporter gigs. Surprisingly, — even to me — I stick to Medium.
This month I’ve written 20 stories and numerous responses. No pay for responses, of course. And of my 20 stories, not one has made a whole dollar yet. Good thing I’m not depending on money from this. It’s not the money that matters to me. And that’s a very good thing. Still, sometimes it feels like I am yelling down a well.
I haven’t been curated since I took off for a while and didn’t write anything much for a couple of months after my precious yellow lab died.
I may be in the curation jail. I’m not sure. Someone explained to me how to tell, but I’ve forgotten. I’ve also written a few articles critical of Medium or its policies, so that may be a factor, too.
I don’t think my writing is that bad? I always run everything through Grammarly, so I‘m pretty sure my essays don’t look like a first grader wrote them. Do they? I’m beginning to wonder.
Anyway, one story, in particular, tightened my chops when I looked at my stats this morning. It required research, and I put the most work into it of all the stories I’ve posted this month.
It has made 23-cents.
If there’s anyone reading who thinks Medium is a good way to reach a big audience and make a little money along the way, they are right.
A little money. Like 2,300 views on 20 stories that will net me maybe two or three dollars. A little more and I’ll have enough for a gallon of milk. Nah, not a gallon of milk. Maybe chocolate. A couple of Hershey bars. I’ll have to think about how I’ll spend my earnings. I don’t want to squander it.
I’ve been a member of Medium since September 2019, and the most I made was my very first two months when I made about $40. My profile says I just joined in February of this year because my membership dues credit card expired. When I got the new card information to them, they started a new membership. I don’t know why. Rules, I guess.
But, oh, well. It’s an outlet and a good one, and no doubt I’ll keep writing — because I’d just as easily quit breathing as quit writing. Writing is a big part of who I am. I’ve written since I could scribble words on paper. I will continue to do that. It’s how my soul speaks to me.
So, I’ll go on. Money or not. I am financially secure and don’t need the money, and that is good. It would just be nice sometime to make a whole dollar on a piece. I think I might be able to meet that goal if I just keep trying.
But today, I feel like quitting. So I will.
But just for today.