What if I am losing it?

My grandson asked me to see a neurologist

Carol Burt


We were in the kitchen working on dinner, and I asked him a question. Of course I don’t remember the question but I sure do remember the response.

“Nana, I want you to see a neurologist.” I was floored because I could tell the kid was dead serious and even a little nervous to be saying such a thing.

I wanted to know why, and he said just a couple of things he’s noticed, like I ask the same question two or three times. Do I?

At first I laughed it off and said, “oh that, that’s just because I ask something and then forget to listen to the answer.” But is it?

It’s funny that it was my grandson who suggested a doctor, but then again, he probably talks to me more than my daughter or my husband. We’re pretty tight, this 20-year-old and I. And my husband barely knows I’m here as long as his dinner gets served.

After a little while of scrubbing or peeling or whatever I was doing, I just plainly asked, “do you think I’m losing it?”

He said he really didn’t think that but wants me to get checked out because, “Nana, there are medicines to slow the progression of dementia even if you’re starting to get it”. Yikes.

His being scared for me has scared the living daylights out of me. This kid is a whiz. He reads everything and if he doesn’t learn it reading, he watches videos.

If I’m honest, I have to admit that I have more trouble understanding people than I once did and learning anything new seems entirely beyond me.

An example is there’s a publication here I’d like to write for. You have to email them first and send them a writing sample by linking it to the email. I don’t know how to do that.

I don’t know the first thing about computers or how to run them. I just type my stories and then publish them. That’s easy and the prompts, or whatever you call them, are right there. If anything else comes up I call my husband (the computer guru) to fix it or do it for me. Come to think of it, I can write that email and then get him to help me link one of my stories.

Why didn’t I think of that before? Maybe because I’m losing it?

I do have more trouble, it seems, coming up with something to write, or carrying out the process once I hit on an idea. I once cranked out two or three stories a day when I…



Carol Burt

Former print journalist, former mayor, retired law enforcement officer. Writing about politics and government along with random personal essays.