You don’t know shit from shinola. Whatever that is.

With the story I filed this evening, I have written 241 pieces for Medium. This little ditty will be number 242. I have written 1,768 responses, and I have 62 unfinished drafts in my folder.

I’m not rich and famous yet. In fact, for most of the two years I’ve been on Medium, I’ve made far less than $100 per month. True, some months, I didn’t write anything and didn’t read much, either. So, I didn’t make any money. I wasn’t very serious about writing on Medium. I was concerned with other things.

Since I got the bonuses, I decided Medium is a worthwhile endeavor. I’m serious about it now. I have an incentive. Before, I was just playing. But now I try.

But I’m still far from being a Medium Guru, and I have no idea how to tell others how to succeed here except write your butt off and consistently file new stories. That’s all I know about it.

If one more person who has been here two months and written seven or eight stories writes an article about how to succeed on Medium, I’m liable to hurt myself yelling at the screen.

How does anyone get that kind of nerve? Beats me. But in the case of Medium writers writing about Medium, I think people should write about what they know. And after two months, I hate to tell you, but you don’t know beans about Medium, never mind how to succeed here.

Just write some stories. Write about your life. People are nosey. Readers will always be interested in your experiences. But not about how to succeed on Medium. Not from you. Not yet.

Ok. I just had to say that. It was stuck in my craw.

Goodnight Mrs. Calabash. (Apologies to the late Jimmy Durante)